An apology from the 'Cartoon' Suicide Bomber

"Dear CF members,

I feel it appropriate that I apologise unreservedly for my actions at the protests against the offensive cartoons in the Danish newspaper.

I now realise that my unorthodox dress sense (pictured left) may have alarmed some people by making them think I was a suicide bomber, or, that I glorified suicide bombings. This was a mistake.

The vest in question was only used to store my drugs. As one of Bedfordshire's most successful 'recreational substance consultants' I am proud to bring you the finest selection of pills, powders and waccy-baccy this side of Slough.

Don't let the press kerfuffle deter you. I needed something to carry all the gear in and my mate Tariq came up with this snug fitting hold-all, how was I to know what it was?

Hopefully, we can put all this nonsense behind us and I can attract your custom. I'm offering a 10% discount, but not for the Lib Dems. I used to, but they started buying in bulk and propositioning me so I had to start turning them away.

Sincerely,

Me"